Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize