Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
