But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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