Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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