Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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