Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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