A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
