if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize