covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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