ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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