I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
