Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
