I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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