Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
