He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
