woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
