we're blogging at a bar
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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