i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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