is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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