We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
