My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
