i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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