Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
