i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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