I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
