dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Terrible idea I love it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
