Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
