well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
