I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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