Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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