sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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