i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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