I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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