your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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