sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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