fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
