"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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