I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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