Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
