Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There r osticjed everywhere
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
