there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
