erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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