I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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