All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
