I seem to have left my pride at pride
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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