Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize