You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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