Banned from zoo.
Again?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
