..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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