I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
