He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize