the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
