im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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