is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
