Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize
