Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
