Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
not ubering you a puppy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
