You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize