I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize